


A Stiff Situation

by adelindschade



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Sexual innuendos, inconvenient boners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26671567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adelindschade/pseuds/adelindschade
Summary: Rosalee and Monroe are in a difficult, compromising position during a friendly game of football.
Relationships: Rosalee Calvert/Monroe
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	A Stiff Situation

A STIFF SITUATION

Monroe x Rosalee

It was all fun and games until someone got a bit too close for comfort.

Adalind was never one to admit a disadvantage but it was plain her height (or lack of) made it difficult to intercept the pigskin. Nick made sure to rub it in, guarding her excessively, and since she _insisted_ that she wasn’t some fragile china doll, he exploited her own stubbornness to tackle her more than once.

“Dick!” she shrilled after he pulled her down with him. He laughed it. She scrambled up, glowering down at the Grimm, but he didn’t cower. Instead, he helped himself up and enveloped her into a hug. “The ball wasn’t even coming my way!”

“Don’t hate me,” he teased, kissing her temple.

“You’re-such-a-douchebag,” she grumbled at her peak competitive streak. No one was safe – especially Nick – whenever she was determined to win.

Even if Football wasn’t her strong suit. Tenacity aside, it was up to her teammates to compensate as Adalind at least was proficient in distracting the opposing team’s most aggressive player – that being Nick who was keenly aware of his Grimm advantage. 

“Do it for us,” Phoebe pleaded to Rosalee. Rosalee towered the rest of the ladies so she knew she could rival Monroe, even if he and Sean were the powerhouse on the field.

They reset the play, with Rosalee fixed on Monroe. Though he was capable, her agility was superior, and she could already anticipate the ball coming in her direction. However, with Monroe beside her, she made the move to move ahead of him for a prime interception.

Hank was the one who flanked it, doing a roundabout bit in an effect to gain the yard advantage.

All she could do was guard Monroe, constantly blocking him to the point nothing but fabric separated them.

It dawned on her their predicament was a bit suggestive, with her essentially grinding on him while her eyes trained on the ball’s movement. It was only after an embarrassing delay of recollection did Rosalee finally realize what exactly was poking her.

By then, Monroe has paused to double over, very purposeful in his effort to separate himself from her.

“Are you…? _Monroe…_ ” she whispered in horror, pausing in her own movement to spin around.

“Damn you, woman,” Monroe grumbled, shaking his head.

“Oh my God,” Rosalee wheezed. “Are you being serious right now?”

“This is not a joking moment,” Monroe whined.

She covered her grin with both hands to pathetically hide her shameless grin.

“This isn’t fun,” Monroe croaked. “Ow. Oh God, it’s not going away!”

“I can see it through your pants!” she shrilled in hysterical laughter. In fact, the point was prominent in his sweatpants.

“I know!” Monroe squeaked in embarrassment. “No! Don’t let them see!”

She looked over her shoulder to see Hank and Nick approach, concerned.

“It’s fine!” She waved them off, stopping both in their steps. She shielded Monroe from view – just in case.

“Is there anything I can do?” Rosalee whispered in a hushed panic. She knelt down beneath him as Monroe doubled over, concentrating on the green.

“Not that!” he squeaked. “Anything but that!”

“What… why…? Oh…” She straightened up quickly upon realizing what the position itself suggested. “I’m sorry, Monroe! That was not intention!”

“You okay over there??” Nick beckoned from across the field.

“We’re fine!!” Rosalee screamed, hoping she sounded convincing enough.

“What happened?!” Adalind probed at the same volume as her husband.

“NUT SHOT!” Monroe bellowed upon quick thinking.

Comically, all the other men recoiled with a painful (and sympathetic) ‘ _Ooh!_ ’, conjuring a collective laugh from their partners.

“Think about… fuck!”

“Let’s not think about that!” Monroe squawked. “Ow!”

“I don’t know! Uh, dead bodies?”

No luck.

“Kind of gross how that didn’t change anything,” she mentioned with disappointment. “Uhm, okay, let’s try… meat! You hate meat!”

“Uh, hello?!” Monroe gestured to budge.

“I’m trying!” She whined in a panic. “Your mother! My mother?? Monroe, this is so weird!”

“The body is weird, man,” he strained. “All I can think about is… you! And that! And this,” he gestured between them wildly. 

“What about…”

“ _Hurry up, would you? We have some ass to kick_!”

“Adalind! Shut up!” Rosalee shrilled.

“My apologies! She’s a sociopath!” Nick apologized.

“I am not!”

A lightbulb flickered in Rosalee’s mind. “Childbirth! It’s disgusting! Remember how much blood and like, how our kids looked like little aliens? _WHY ISN’T IT GOING AWAY??_ ” She ended on a high note, horrified.

“Because,” Monroe strained with adoring eyes, “that was the happiest day of my life and you were so strong, and amazing, and the thought of having children with you is the greatest thing ever because we have this fantastic family that we made all by ourselves and to know you went through eighteen hours of labor bringing our children into this world isn’t gross – it’s beautiful… Oh god, it’s not going away! I was thinking about baby-making! _ROSALEE!_ ”

“Okay… something weird… boner-killer… uh…” she spun her hands in a nervous tick. “This is a stretch but uhm, Nick and Adalind doing it…? Because that’s like our friends…? Oh my God, it worked! It worked!! Wait, why did it work?”

“Because Adalind is a sociopath and I don’t want to know why kind of kinky shit she drags Nick down into.”

“Really??”

“That’s our friend. So is she but he’s our first! He’s ours. She just… was invited in. She’s our friend… in-law. ”

“Are you… _upset_ about that?”

“She defiled him!” Monroe squawked. “That’s my bro! My home-skillet-biscuit! I don’t want to know what weird shit she convinces him to do!”

“Not in my experience!” Rosalee bolstered a laugh. “He’s a happy participant.”

“What do you mean?” Monroe gawked.

“Did I tell you about the time I caught them doing the dirty??” She said, wagging her brows.

“Nope! Nope! Don’t need to hear it!”

He walked ahead determinedly.

“Monroe!” Rosalee taunted, finding his weak point. “If I have to suffer through it, so do you! It’s in our vows!”


End file.
